A weblog about all the inconveniences we encounter in everyday life. Diapers, junk food, cruelty to animals, hostile people, rude cell phone behavior, cancer, terrible customer service (also known as "why the hell am I giving this company my money?"), ignorance, parking, bad spelling, family disturbances, office politics, death (the biggest inconvenience of all) and more. Thanks for saving me thousands of dollars in therapy by reading my blog. It might even make you laugh.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Sisterhood of the Traveling Shoes

This is one place my feet will not be too many times in the coming week -- resting. And I don't suppose they'll be on a rock anywhere either but who knows. We're on our way for a family trip and it's going to be a busy one, most likely not very relaxing, and not a true vacation. Fredi wants to see Star Wars and I want to see Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants this week but I told him, "There's no time! We have every minute of every day scheduled including 7.6 hours of sleep and 21.7 minutes for meal times!"

Yes, I do have other pairs of pants and other shoes, but hey, I like these shoes and these jeans. I think the idea of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants would be much funnier if a pair of SHOES traveled around to the different friends throughout the summer, don't you? Okay, maybe not.

What I would like to do is send my shoes or pants or some part of me to the five different places I want be next weekend. I will be in the most important place, with family at my grandmother's 89 and a half birthday party in Illinois! But there are a few other places I'd like to be simultaneously, including, in no particular order: the Cubs first visit to Yankee Stadium since the 1938 World Series, the Indianapolis Formula One Grand Prix, the St. Louis Race for the Cure with my Sisters in Survivorship, and a friends' 50th birthday celebration.

I tried to talk to the Mr. Steinbrenner about rescheduling the upcoming Cubs-Yanks series, especially since there won't be another Cubs-Yankees series in New York for four years, unless they're in the World Series playing each other (be still my heart), but his schedule is a little full right now trying to figure out who to fire. Maybe a reality series will come out of this, a combination of the hilarious "Fire Me, Please!" and "The Apprentice," with contestants competing for Joe Torre's job while he tries to get fired before 3 p.m. each game day, and Donald Trump and Mayor Michael Blooomberg can guest star on an episode with contestants vying to see who can tear down Yankee Stadium and build a new stadium in Manhattan first.

Since I can't be five places at once, I will definitely be feeling very torn up next weekend during all the festivities. I should have sent gnome copies of myself around to each location and asked someone to take a picture of my gnome visiting each location. Darn. Why didn't I think of that before?

Well, all I can say is, Lisa, nothing personal, but I really want it to pour rain all three days next weekend so I have another chance somehow to see my adored Cubs tear apart my beloved Yankees in the Bronx this season. (Lisa has tickets to all three games ... grrr. And she doesn't even live here! She lives in Texas! Harrumph.)

Ladies, have a great time in St. Lou, Happy Birthday Chris although you will never read this, and ciao ciao for now now.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Amazing Airborne Alex

Here he is! The winner of the Belmont Stakes! Hooray! I love these pictures of him, all four legs off the ground as if he's flying. He is flying. It's amazing and Afleet Alex is inspiring. Yay for Alex and for Alex's Lemonade Stand!